Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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