WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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