A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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