I think i sorta joined a cult last night
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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