This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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