you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize