A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
my liver is dry heaving
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
