Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
