batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
