i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
