i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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