oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
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My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
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Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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