Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
