He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
