I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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