So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
