i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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