I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
