margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
