is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
