My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
