WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
