after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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