I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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