I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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