someone threw a dead crab at me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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