Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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