i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
