I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
