It was confusing and full of hummus
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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