my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
