Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
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when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
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Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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