You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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