shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
