Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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