why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
