Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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