I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
