butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
