big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
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Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
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How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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