Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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