apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
