yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
