Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
