This is not my ceiling
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
