He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
This can only be settled by a dance off.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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