If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
