it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
