He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
