my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
