Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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