so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
