thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
