i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
