I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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