It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
