Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
