I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
