and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
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You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
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Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
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